So I am going to be married in less than 4 months. I have recently come to realize that most women have a lot of problems with their in laws, mostly the mother-in-law. I am definitely going to face most of the problems these women do after marriage.
A bit of a background story. I am a Marathi mulgi from Mumbai, and my fiancé a TamBrahm guy from Chennai, a typical one at that. Now he has lived in Delhi for 9 years of his life, and the US for 5. But his parents are really the stereotypical Tam Brahms that you see on the tambrahmrage site. When he decided to marry me and told them of his intentions, naturally they were less than thrilled. What ensued was a year and a half worth of convincing, a lot of tears (of sadness for his mom and frustration for him) Eventually they did agree, but I am sure they will expect me to behave in a certain way, a way which I am not accustomed to.
Like I said, I am from Mumbai. My parents have taught me their share of discipline. But never to the extent that Sam or his sister have been subjected to. His sister was married off at 21, to a guy she had never seen before. She’s now 22, had to quit her job as she had to stay out till late and could not cook for her husband and in laws. All she can do is complain to her mom and Sam about how much work her MIL makes her do and there is nothing they can (or choose to) do about it.
I am highly career-oriented. I love working. I make way more money than Sam does and that’s saying something as he makes a Senior Software Developer’s salary in Manhattan. He has refrained from telling his parents this as they would have a problem with me earning more! Anyway, there is no way I’m going to quit my job and stay at home to cook. Right now Sam and I both do an equal amount of household chores, and I like it that way.
Sam’s sister, let’s call her Sara, has been bugged to have kids ever since she got married. She is just 22 for god’s sake! It all really riles me up. I want to be able to live the way I want, with my husband and family. I hope they understand where I am coming from and do not treat me the way their daughter is treated by her in laws. And if they do, well, I for one am not the kind that would take it lying down.